Cover Photo source (From top-left to bottom-right): Warren Buffet, Oprah Winfrey, Mahatma Gandhi, Beyoncé Knowles, Richard Branson, and Melinda Gates.
It’s a trait many successful people share but all had to learn
How confident are you?
The world’s most successful people all have high confidence.
How did they build it?
Like everyone else! No one’s born confident. Below is the most comprehensive list on how to build confidence like the top 5 percent of the most successful people in the world.
And remember, confidence, like motivation, doesn’t last.
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” — Zig Ziglar
You can use the list below as a reference to figure out which ones are most impactful for you. However, keep in mind that everyone’s different. The degree at which they work will be different for everyone.
As you go through the list, note those that you are already doing and those you plan on starting to do.
Observations
As you go through the list, you’ll notice patterns. I strongly encourage you to identify your patterns, but here are some ideas:
Confidence is built more broadly in 6 ways:
As you feel and become more competent;
When you become selfless;
When you are aware of and congruent with your thoughts and actions;
When you raise your motivation and pride;
In the right environment; and
As you diversify various aspects of your life.
*Note: The list below is in no particular order
1. Learn new skills
Back in October 2017, I set out to learn 3 new skills every month. 50+ skills later, I’m a lot more confident than when most of what I knew was software development.
Learning new skills teaches your brain that you can grow and become more competent, even as you get older.
2. Realize all the skills you already know
I had never realized how skilled I was until I made a list of all that I could do. It’s motivating to see how far you’ve come along in life and how, even though in your day-to-day life you don’t notice it, you are indeed improving.
3. Increase competence
How confident do you feel when you realize you can get better at something? Pretty confident, right? The more frequently you can raise your competence the more that confidence will last.
4. Get paid for a skill you’re good at
It’s such a great feeling to learn a skill, put it into practice, and get paid for it! This happened to me in writing, photography, e-commerce, and many more. Getting paid for your skill is a confirmation that you are good at it.
5. Do things out of your comfort zone
For my 31st birthday, I went paragliding. I’m afraid of heights, so it’s not the type of activity I would typically do. I survived, and that made me more confident.
Frequently doing things you’re comfortable doing might hinder your confidence since confidence is built by achieving things that are hard for you to achieve.
6. Do things in public that are considered weird
Confident people are not scared of being different or doing “ridiculous” things in public. Let your imagination run wild here but be sure to be lawful and respectful!
7. Record the small wins
You succeed at many small things regularly without realizing it. I record almost every single one of these wins in my win journal. Realizing that your days are filled for successes makes you feel good about yourself.
8. Set goals you can accomplish
Sometimes it’s a good idea to NOT think big. Unfinished, over-ambitious goals are detrimental to your confidence. Set goals you can accomplish.
I set myself a decent-sized list of micro-goals every month. All the goals are achievable but not too easy. The more I cross them off, the more confident I get!
9. “Fail” often
By learning 3 new skills every month, I set myself up for “failure” so frequently that it’s now a habit for me. Confident people are not afraid of failure. People are only succeeding at the things you pay attention to.
10. Learn from your mistakes and “failures”
Failure doesn’t exist. You either succeed or you learn. With that mindset, in both cases, you come out more confident. Something is gratifying about knowing what went wrong and how you can do better next time.
11. Experiment in fun and safe ways
The more new experiences you live, the more you understand about the world. You connect with more people because the more experiences you have, the more things you can have in common with them.
By traveling the world and learning over 50 skills in the last two years, I’ve been able to help relate with more people and create deeper connections. As a shy introvert, that has contributed greatly to my confidence.
12. Monitor progress
We rarely track the results we get from things we do daily, yet there’s hardly anything more motivating than knowing you are advancing towards something. The more you realize you achieve, the more confident you’ll become.
In many of the things I do, I measure my increments in spreadsheets so I can always refer to it.
13. Eat healthily
Healthier people tend to be more confident. They are less ashamed of their appearance and more willing to go out and do things with others. My environment now forces me to eat healthy foods. Every week, I receive a box with recipes and ingredients for healthy foods. I have to eat healthy, and I feel great about myself for it.
14. Get in shape
The complement to eating healthy. It makes you confident for the same reasons. Both usually come together. If you workout, you’re more likely to eat healthy, and vice versa.
Every month, I try to schedule at least 30 minutes of daily physical activity. I alternate between biking, going to the gym, doing home workouts, swimming, stretching or yin yoga.
15. Do what makes you happy
Confident people do things that make them happy. It doesn’t mean that it’s all they do, but they prioritize it. By waking up between 4 am and 5 am, I have plenty of time to work on my self-improvement, which makes me happy. The more I’m able to stick to it, the more confident I am.
16. Know your values
Every time I start a new business, I figure out what are the business’ values. People who do that with their own lives tend to be more confident because they are proud of what they stand for.
17. Act according to your values
Knowing your values helps, but there’s nothing like acting according to them. If you value altruism and help people, for example, you’ll gain tremendous confidence because you are staying true to yourself.
18. Practice visualization
Visualization is powerful because it helps you act in a way to make what you visualize true. Do I visualize myself as a successful entrepreneur? You bet! And it works. And I’m more confident because of it.
19. Be affirmative with yourself
Drop the conditional and future tenses, starting using “I am” and “I can”. Confident people don’t doubt they are capable of doing things even though they can’t yet do them. I became a photographer by affirming I was one, even when I was still just an amateur. It forced me to work hard and achieve results.
20. Drop negative words from your vocabulary
It’s mind-boggling how many negative words we use daily. Simply changing your vocabulary to use positive words can change your mindset. Positive people tend to be more confident.
21. Become more optimistic
As a result of the above, you should become more optimistic. Confident people are optimists, with a good amount of realism. Optimists believe they can do things, and so are more likely to take action and yield results.
22. See yourself as an equal to others
True confidence isn’t about seeing yourself as superior to others. My life is just as valuable as that of Bill Gates or a mother in a slum of a third-world country. True confidence comes from knowing that you’re not special. I find that reassuring. It means that if Bill Gates can do it, so can I!
23. Strike a power pose
Amy Cuddy popularized the idea of power posing. The idea is that your body posture dictates your level of confidence. It’s possible to tell if someone is confident or not just by looking at their posture. The more confident I got, the more I realized that I was using the power poses she mentions in her TED talk.
24. Watch your posture
Outside of forcing a pose, be aware of your posture. In a room full of people, you can usually tell who’s confident based just by looking at them. Stop rounding your shoulders, sit or stand straight, spread your arms, etc. Usually, you get better posture by becoming more confident. However, I’d argue that if you watch your posture first, you can also raise your confidence because people will perceive you as confident.
25. Wear things that feel like you
Some articles will tell you dressing “nicely” raises your confidence. I refute it. Wearing things you feel like wearing makes you confident. I’d be miserable if I would wear a suit every day. I wear my t-shirts and jeans proudly!
26. Connect people you know
The more you connect people you know with other people you know, the more confident you’ll get. Why? Because without you, that potentially productive collaboration wouldn’t exist, you made it possible.
27. Accept that you won’t succeed at things right away
Acceptance is powerful. What do you do when something doesn’t go right? Do you blame yourself? Even if it is your fault, blame won’t help. Confident people accept it, learn from it, and move one. They do better next time, so they know it’s not all wasted.
28. Don’t give up when it’s hard
Hardly anything contributes more to your confidence than succeeding at something hard for you. The more hard things you accomplish, the more confident you’ll get. That’s why I love entrepreneurship. Nothing about it is easy, yet with every small win, my confidence keeps growing!
29. Think things through then follow through
Jumping to action too quickly increases your chances of failure. Not jumping to action fast enough leads to missed opportunities. Both scenarios lower your confidence. Be in the middle, think things through, then follow through.
I used to love Nike’s “Just do it”. After multiple failures, I realized action without minimal planning is counter-productive.
30. Know your why
Can you tell me one sentence that describes what’s your life purpose? Most people can’t. When I figured mine out, all my actions had a purpose. Either it was working towards my main goal, or away from it. Acting towards things that are productive for you is a great way to build confidence. It all starts with knowing your why.
31. Accomplish something you thought you could never do before
For me, it was drawing. As a logical person, I thought it was impossible for me to draw. Every time I had tried before, I had failed and given up quickly. When I decided to persist, I realized I could draw. This may seem strange, but that was one of the biggest confidence boosters I got in recent years.
32. Talk to someone you weren’t confident enough to talk to in the past
Who did you look up took years ago but didn’t have the courage to reach out to them? A year ago, I had a list of people I wanted to reach out to but didn’t feel confident I’d get a reply back from them. As I got more confident, I started reaching out one by one. Today, there’s only one person left on my list.
33. Say no to something you don’t feel like doing
This becomes a lot easier when you know your values and your why. Confident people don’t feel bad about saying no to things they don’t feel like doing. This reaffirms their values and raises confidence even more.
34. Stop comparing yourself to others
You are unique. Compare yourself with yourself but get inspired by others. Don’t be jealous, admire. Confidence comes from realizing that you are improving, no matter how the others are improving.
35. Be aware of your insecurities and/or limitations
This is useful for setting yourself up for success. It allows you to set goals you can accomplish. If you don’t know what you can currently accomplish, you might try to accomplish things that are too hard for you and fail. The more you fail, and fail to learn from failure, the more confidence you will lose.
36. Help someone else
Confident people tend to be more selfless. I know it sounds selfish, but I help people partly because it makes me feel good. The more I feel good, the more I want to help. It’s a never-ending cycle. When you feel good, you are more confident.
37. Fight your fears
Confident people are not fearless, but they don’t let their fears prevent them from accomplishing their goals. I have a fear of drowning, so I try to practice surfing or swimming in a “safe” environment whenever I can. This gives me the confidence that if ever I can’t avoid it, at least I’m more prepared for it.
38. Drop a bad habit
Have you ever dropped a bad habit you had for a while? It feels amazing! This is one of the most powerful ways to build confidence because it requires a lot of dedication is extremely hard to do. But once you do it, the pride you get leads to more confidence.
39. Start a good habit
Starting a good habit is easier than dropping a bad one, but it’s still very powerful for your confidence, for the same reason.
My best habits are writing as soon as I wake up and learning new skills every month.
40. Smile
Confident people are happy people. Happy people smile. Now reverse that. Smile and become happy. Be happy and you’ll be confident.
41. Read biographies
This has been a great confidence booster for me. Knowing that the people we look up to are just human beings like you and me is motivating. They struggle at least as much as you and I, yet they achieved great things. If they can do it, so can I!
42. Practice gratefulness
When you genuinely appreciate what they have and what people give you, you want to give more of yourself. The more you give, the more confidence you get.
43. Surround yourself with confident people
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn
There’s no quote I associate myself with the most. I used to be a shy introvert with not much confidence until I started hanging out with the most popular guy in college. Through spending a lot of time with him, I became a lot more confident. If you know confident people around, try to spend more time with them.
44. Surround yourself with people who uplift you
Life’s too short to spend time with people who drag you down. These people lower your confidence. As much as you can, spend time with people who encourage you. People who tell you that things are possible and guide you. And if you can’t find such people around you, read books or articles that uplift you. I gained so much confidence from being biographies, maybe you can too!
45. Accept compliments
Confident people take compliments when given to them and thank the person for giving it to them. Not accepting compliments, saying you don’t deserve it, is detrimental to your confidence. If they give you compliments, it’s because you deserve them. In this world, people are much faster at criticizing you than complimenting you, so when they compliment you, they likely mean it!
46. Do volunteer work
This is one of my favourite ways to raise my confidence. There’s no downside to volunteering and helping people. I don’t think anything in life makes me happier than giving without asking anything in return. This, in turn, boosts my confidence.
47. Travel
Travelling forces you to go out of your comfort zone. When you travel, you get into situations you wouldn’t normally encounter back at home and that forces you to become more resourceful. The more you realize you can do things out of your comfort zone, the more confidence you’ll get.
As a nomad, every country I visit seems to raise my confidence. I talk to more strangers and do activities I would normally never do.
48. Host travelers
6 years ago I opened a Couchsurfing account to host people at my apartment. The experience was amazing. Sharing your world and life experiences is greatly empowering. To someone in the same context as you, your story is routine. To someone from a different part of the world, it’s a completely different journey.
49. Get a degree
For someone writing against the current education system and bashing the idea of a diploma, it might be counter-intuitive for me to mention that getting a degree is a good way to raise confidence, but it really is. Getting a degree is proof of achieving something difficult over a few years. The confidence you get from it may not last forever, but on the moment, you are more confident that you can accomplish more.
50. Get certifications
Similarly to getting a degree, getting certified helps raise confidence by the fact that you are considered good enough at something to do it professionally. People with many certificates are proud and confident.
51. Get a raise
Confident people can ask for a raise and get it. It takes courage to go to your boss and tell them you’re worth more than they’re giving you. If you get a raise, it proves your worth. If you don’t get a raise after asking for it though, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not worth it; there are many other factors involved.
52. Walk fast
This is a strange observation I made a while back, but everyone I know who’s productive and confident walks fast. Confident people know what they want and want it while minimizing the amount of wasted time.
53. Never neglect your sleep
This is a very important one. When you get quality sleep, you have more energy to perform well during the day. People who accomplish more “higher quality goals” are more confident. Most people don’t get the quality sleep they deserve.
54. Declutter your living space
Every object you have around one is one extra thing you have to think about. When I came back from my year-long trip around the world, I didn’t furnish my new apartment, except for a mattress and a desk to work from. It was so liberating to be “free”. It also forced me to do more outside of my apartment. Sheltering yourself in your apartment can be detrimental to your confidence.
55. Raise your energy
Confident people have high energy that lets them achieve their goals. Energy is the fuel that makes you take actions and risks. The more energy you get, the more you’ll accomplish, and the more confidence you’ll build.
56. Delegate to people
Delegating something to someone else isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a strength. Knowing what you can or should do and passing the rest on to someone more suited to do it is one of my top bits of productivity advice. Moreover, the more you successfully delegate, the more confident you become since you can accomplish more in less time.
57. Accept your quirks
We’re all quirkier than we think. I was once challenged to write 10 quirks I have and I thought the exercise would be hard. I was wrong. Finding 10 was surprisingly easy. Our quirks are what make us unique. Own them, however silly they may sound. The more comfortable you are with your differences, the more confident you’ll be.
58. Schedule your chores and do them
I hate the idea of doing chores. If they’re not on my agenda, I won’t do them. As such, when I get around to doing them, I feel good about myself. Doing something you don’t want to do is empowering.
59. Get support from your peers
Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of awareness. And it takes a lot of courage to realize that you can’t do something on your own. Once you accept that and get support from people, you realize people care for you, and that raises confidence.
60. Change your environment
Comfort is the enemy of thriving. Changing your environment once in a while can uplift you and teach you that you can thrive in the unfamiliar. A lot of my confidence comes from having travelled the world and having met incredible people and done things way outside my comfort zone.
61. Talk to strangers
As a kid, your mom tells you to not talk to strangers, but as an adult, the more strangers you talk to, the more confident you get. Again, talking to strangers is uncomfortable. You don’t know where to start, and as such, it’s nerve-wracking. Confident people don’t shy away from such situations. I used to hate networking events, yet the more I managed to join in conversations, the more confident I got.
62. Be in a serious relationship with someone
With so many people struggling to be in a serious relationship, if you’re in one, you’re the exception. You’ve achieved something many struggle to do. And to succeed in that, the key is to have a strong set of interpersonal skills most people can’t acquire. People who date many people may act more confident, but they rarely are in reality.
63. Do things for yourself
I talked about doing things for others before as being a way to raise confidence, but the opposite is true too. My wife often says: “I have to do this for that person.” “Says who?”, I reply. Never neglect your well-being. It’s like in an airplane, you gotta put your mask on first when/if the time comes. You can’t help others if you’re not well yourself. Confident people learn to say “no” when required.
64. Have side projects
Only doing work for others is demoralizing. Always have productive things to do on the side, even if it’s not bringing you any income. Doing side projects raises your confidence because it teaches you that you can do things without the direction of others.
65. Get a job you want
It’s okay to not get your dream job from the start. Good for you if you get it, but most won’t. It’s a process. You gain experience doing related things and work your way up to it. The journey is the reward anyway. Once you finally get it, it will be because of your hard work.
66. Build something “from scratch”
Something is rewarding about creating something from nothing. The more you realize you can “invent” things, the more confident you’ll get. And don’t think too far here, you could get started with just creating a new recipe you’ve never seen before.
67. Work on important but non-urgent tasks
In a world of high-stress work, we rarely take the time to do things that are not urgent, postponing anything we feel is important but not urgent. Doing things that are important to you makes you feel more confident because you are achieving things for yourself, not just someone else’s agenda.
68. Have a strong morning routine
A strong morning routine is a routine that sets you up for a positive and productive day. When you start the day right, you have the confidence you can take on anything that comes your way. I start the day doing my non-urgent but important tasks (for me), like skill learning and writing.
69. Have a strong evening routine
A strong evening routine is a routine that sets you up for a good night of sleep. As mentioned previous, feeling energized from good sleep helps you gain confidence through accomplishing more. My evening routine is very basic: I stop touching any electronic devices at 9 pm and read from there until I fall asleep.
70. Let your curiosity run wild
Thinking “outside the box” is something you do when you have the confidence to accept that it may not lead anywhere but you still feel it’s worth exploring. Most people don’t think of it that way, but highly confident people tend to be curious people.
71. Listen to music that uplifts you
A lot of people get into a flow state when they listen to music that uplifts them. Your heart is pumping and your mind is racing. A lot of my breakthroughs came while listening to music that put me in that state. And trust me, true breakthroughs increase your confidence greatly.
72. Practice motivation (motivation doesn’t last)
Confidence is, in part, the byproduct of high motivation. The more motivated you are, the more you’ll achieve, and therefore the more confidence you’ll build.
73. Make friends with someone you admire
I used to think that some people I admired were unreachable for me. Today, I’ve connected with many of them. Whereas I was picturing them as the pinnacle of success, I now walk among them. Feeling like you’re on the same level as someone you admire is powerful for your confidence.
74. Get someone to invest in one of your projects
Your confidence increases when you get someone to invest time or money in your projects. It’s a vote of confidence that your project has value to them.
75. Build an email list
There are two ways in which building an email list can raise your confidence: (1) by seeing the number of subscribers increase and (2) getting people to reply to your emails with awesome comments. The second one matters most for me, and I got a lot more confidence through it. It’s a confirmation that your work does matter to them.
76. Lead people
You have to be confident to be able to lead successfully, right? A good amount of my confidence came from leading dinner outings with friends and strangers when I was in a co-living space in Cambodia. This is a simple way to lead people when you don’t yet have the confidence to lead people professionally.
77. Stop apologizing for everything
You sneeze and you apologize? You don’t need to! Apologize when you’re at fault for doing bad. That’s the only good reason to apologize: take responsibility for a bad action you did. Otherwise, drop it. Confident people only apologize in the right circumstances.
78. Be proactive
Being reactive sucks. Doing things proactively is empowering. It feels like you’re owning your time as opposed to being raced by it. Proactive people can work on things they find important, but not necessarily urgent. And that’s when you feel in control and build confidence.
79. Control your anger
Anger is a defense mechanism. Insecure people get angry, confident people keep their cool. If you tend to get angry, find the root of your problem(s) and do the best you can to fix it because you’ll have a hard time raising your confidence by being insecure.
80. Make money doing things you love
What if you could make money by doing things you enjoy doing? That happens for me through writing, and sometimes with photography. That is an amazing feeling. Many people work for others and don’t have the courage to work on their stuff outside of it, yet it puts you in the achiever mindset, and that leads to increased confidence.
81. Do public speaking
You need to have a good level of confidence if you want to do public speeches. There are many ways to practice this in the right environment, like going to Toastmasters events for example. The more comfortable you get speaking in front of a crowd, the more confidence you’ll get.
82. Publish your work online
A high percentage of my growth in confidence came from publishing articles and receiving incredible comments from readers. Sometimes, you just need a little reminder that what you’re doing matters to others, and you can change their lives, one way or another. Nothing is more empowering than hearing that you changed someone else’s life.
83. Develop true influence
How often are people saying “yes” to you when you need a favour from them? That’s true influence. The more it happens, the more you’ve impacted their lives, and it’s their way of returning the favour. The more influence you develop, the more confidence you’ll get because you’ll know you’ve impacted the life of someone else positively.
84. Change a person’s life
Here’s a simple strategy to change anyone’s life: add massive value in their personal life or their business. The more people tell you you changed their life, the more confidence you build. This happened very accidentally for me when I started writing back in January 2018. Now I can’t stop writing!
85. Teach others
There are two reasons why teaching what you know to someone helps you raise confidence. First, teaching increases your comprehension of the subject. The more you master something, the more confidence you get. Second, it’s a great way to change someone’s life.
86. Listen to others
True listeners have higher comprehension of their interlocutor and can add more value to them. True listeners are not selfish and listen with empathy. This raises your confidence because it makes you realize that life isn’t all about you, that can lift a weight off your shoulders.
87. Be consistent
Confident people realize that most things in life need to be done consistently over time. The more you manage to get yourself to do something every day and build strong positive habits, the more confidence you’ll build. I’ve been writing every day for 485 days and I’m proud of that habit.
88. Be persistent
Don’t you dare give up too early. Be stronger than that! Persisting through tough times and ultimately succeeding adds a massive boost to your confidence. Combine consistency with it and you’re in for a real breakthrough!
Conclusion
Which ones from the list do you currently do?
Which ones from the list are you going to start doing going forward?
What did I miss or what do you not agree with?
If you want to raise your confidence, it all starts by taking the right actions. I wasn’t always confident. This list is a self-reflection of things that helped me raise my confidence and I know it can help you too.
Bookmark or print this list and refer to it regularly. Use it as a guide to raising your confidence. Take action, and with consistence and persistence, you’ll get there I promise! Act like the top 5 percent most successful people and become more confident!
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
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