31 Reasons Why I Write Listicles Containing Exactly 31 Items

Cover Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash (adapted)

30 just feels lazy

Sometimes, you just have to have fun when you write. This is what this article is about. I wrote many serious stories about 31 things to do for x, y, and z reasons.

But I don’t like taking myself too seriously, so in this one, I want to share (arguably dumb) reasons why I keep writing large listicles, even when close to nobody reads them.

Most of items are not very serious, but some actually contain good advice. The ones in bold are those I think are good reasons. You’ll notice how the advice gets worse and worse as you go down the list. Whoops! :)

Ready for some fun? Here goes:

  1. They force me to dig deeper into a topic

  2. They make me a better researcher

  3. I have to think creatively about the topic

  4. They’re remarkable

  5. No one else does that

  6. Odd-numbered lists perform better than even-numbered ones

  7. They’re actually fun to write

  8. They enforce a commitment

  9. They highly incentivize me to try my new discoveries

  10. Why not?

  11. There are often 31 things to say about a topic

  12. They’re challenging

  13. They help me find new ways to keep things interesting

  14. Listicles work

  15. I’ve had one reach over half a million views, so I tried to replicate it

  16. Because I’m not afraid of failure (the average successful listicle contains 4–5 items)

  17. They’re teaching me to maintain focus on one thing for longer

  18. My assistant likes them

  19. My mom likes them (actually, she doesn’t understand English, but she claps for them!)

  20. It gets readers thinking

  21. They help readers choose what applies to them and what doesn’t

  22. They’re clickbait, but not “too” clickbait

  23. They seem unbelievable until you actually read all the advice

  24. I just like the number 31, okay?

  25. I tried 7, 10, 41, 66, and 88. They all tanked. Gotta learn from my mistakes!

  26. It’s not an unlucky number for anyone, as far as I’m aware

  27. Most people I know how to count to 31, so there’s that!

  28. “31” means the same thing in all languages

  29. It was an accidental number that actually stuck

  30. 30 just feels lazy

  31. Because I wanted to write this article

These large listicles rarely work, but I have everything to gain from writing them. They force me to think and write differently. They force me to not leave anyone behind. They force me to commit to something “big”.

I dare you to write something remarkably strange like that.

You can do this!

— Danny