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If you’re tired of getting rejected, add value first
Are you like most people and struggle to get people to say yes to you? Are you tired of receiving a no? Are you willing to do what it takes to get a yes?
Most people have a hard time getting people to say yes to them. They send well-written messages and ask nicely, but they’re still getting rejected. Some are persistent, some aren’t.
No matter, they still don’t get a yes. But here’s the truth: Most people aren’t willing to do what it truly takes to get a yes.
How Do You Get a Yes?
“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” — Winston Churchill
In the past year, I’ve gotten many people to say yes to me. I didn’t immediately understand what change I made for that happen, but it’s obvious in hindsight.
I simply started giving — genuinely giving. Don’t even aim to ask for anything. Just give.
When comes time to ask for something reasonable, you will almost always get a yes. Getting a yes is about having a mutual relationship. It’s not about asking and leaving. It’s about giving and receiving, giving and receiving, etc.
It’s a cycle. It is, in essence, a friendship. Easy, right?
Slow down here. It’s not as easy as it sounds. How do you add value to people, and especially people you don’t know?
Here are three methods I’ve used successfully.
1. Do Some Research
If you’re trying to reach out to someone you don’t know, you may want to try the following:
Find their social media accounts and get an idea of what kind of person they are. Don’t be creepy though.
If the person is somewhat famous, look up their website or their Wikipedia page. Beware of false information.
Find their most approachable friends and ask them questions. Again, don’t be creepy.
If the person has written books, read them.
If the person has a blog, read the blog.
Once you have a better idea of who they are, adding value is suddenly much easier. They like to read? Recommend a book. Be creative. Be authentic. Give them something they want based on your research.
2. Simply Ask Them How You Can Help
You’d be surprised how much information you can get doing that. You’d also be surprised to see how many people don’t even try for fear of getting rejected.
If you don’t try, you don’t know if it will work or not.
Countless times I’ve asked and received. When I hear people say that asking would be a guaranteed rejection, I have to put sense into their heads. It’s never a guarantee.
I’m not saying odds are in your favour when you simply ask, but it’s so easy and cheap that it’s worth trying almost every time.
3. Give and Adjust
If you know the person’s interests, you can always find something to give. It may not be spot on, but it’s recognized nonetheless.
If you get a response, you’ve opened up the line of communication. From there, you may get a better idea of what they need. If not, you can either ask them directly or keep trying.
What Should I Give?
Give something that adds value to the person, it’s that simple. Contrary to most people’s beliefs, something tangible is rarely the solution, except for a good book maybe.
If you contribute to a person’s health, wealth, love, or happiness, you are adding value. Knowing that, you’ve got a limitless amount of options. There’s no right or wrong. Adding value to their health, wealth, love, or happiness is a surefire way to get noticed at least.
Conclusion
Are you willing to do what it takes to get a yes? Are you ready to give before you receive? Are you ready to give with no pretense of ever receiving anything in exchange?
I’ve experienced a radical shift when I became more of a giver. You don’t get a yes by not giving a yes yourself. You don’t get to the top without giving more than you receive.
So I challenge you. Dare to give more than you take, and you’ll notice how much more willing people will be to help you.
You can do this.