Honesty is an important skill in relationships, business, self-esteem etc. Invest in it and your life will be that much better.
A Simple Yet Powerful Way To Boost Your Confidence According to High Performers
Cover Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
It’s not as hard as you think it is
Ever since my college days, I’ve always felt somewhat confident. When came time to work on difficult projects, I’d jump in and do my best, not worrying much about how I’d fail.
I started my first business developing custom software for businesses at the age of 19, only one and a half years into my college degree. Looking back, I must admit I had no f***ing clue what I was doing. Yet somehow I had the balls to show up at clients’ door and sell my skills.
I certainly wasn’t always that way.
My confidence level took a dip going from primary school to high school. I became way more introverted and shy. I wasn’t confident enough to raise my hand in class, fearing asking a dumb question and getting ridiculed. Not that it ever happened (as far as I can remember), that was all in my head.
I had never given much thought on how I gained my confidence back in college and beyond. And most importantly, in the past 9 months or so.
Until, from High Performance Habit — by Brendon Burchard — I read the chapter titled “The #1 Thing”.
In short, the one thing that makes high performers so good in the six habits is their confidence.
Raise your confidence, raise your performance. It’s that simple.
When I took the self-assessment that comes with the book, I did get a pretty good score (4.25 / 5), but I’ve still got a long way to go if I want to be in the top 15% of High Performers (4.67).
That made me reflect on how I gained the confidence level I have today. Let me share with you some my own findings and those from Burchard’s life-changing book.
Benefits of Having a High Confidence
*All credit to Brendon Burchard’s research for this section.
I’ll start with little gems from the book. It’s all backed by data, so do yourself a favor and trust in it.
When someone is more confident, they consistently have greater:
Clarity/awareness;
Energy;
Productivity;
Influence;
Necessity; and
Courage.
These are what Burchard calls the HP6.
Here are other important benefits:
Overall happier life;
Love for taking on new challenges;
Feeling of making a difference in the world;
Less likely to burn out from work;
More willing to say no;
More sure what to focus on;
Less prone to distractions; and
More likely to work out.
Feeling inspired yet?
That gets me fired up! I want all of the above, and now I have a roadmap to make it happen.
Do you see that raising your confidence really does help you get rid of so many issues in your life?
I know it did for me.
Read on for tried and true ways to raise that ever so important confidence level of ours!
True Way to Raise Your Confidence
“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings” — Samuel Johnson
Myth Busted — Self-confidence is not given to you at birth.
No one is born self-confident. It’s something you have to build yourself. This should be encouraging for everyone. I’ve certainly seen that in my own life. All high performers attest to that truth, according to Burchard’s research.
Develop Competence
Easier said than done, right?
While it’s true it’s not easy to do, there are ways to make that happen.
Think about these simple questions:
Were you more confident on your first day of school, or after a few weeks?
Were you more confident on your first day at work, or after a few weeks?
Were you more confident on your first day at the gym, or after a few weeks?
This reflection leads to three pillars for raising competence: Do more, learn more, reflect more.
Do More
Let’s start with a very important point, and something you should *almost* always tell yourself: “Screw failure”.
Experiment in an environment where it’s okay to “fail”. Remember, in experimentation, failure doesn’t exist.
“I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.” — Thomas A. Edison
Remember above when I said my confidence increased dramatically in the past 9 months or so?
In retrospect, it wasn’t by accident: I started doing more. A sh*t-ton more!
In the past 7 months alone, I’ve started more than 6 projects, sold a video game on Steam, wrote two books (with two more coming), gained 7kg of muscles, lost 2% body fat, connected with “big-shots” worldwide, lived in 3 countries, gave talks, became a contributor to some of the top publications in the world, deliberately learned 27 new skills, and more.
I’m not saying that to brag, but rather to give you an idea of what it means to do more. Now, this is what I’ve achieved.
To achieve all that, I had to consistently write every day, work out every day, chip away at my games and books every day, reach out to influencers frequently, seek out talk opportunities regularly, pitch to publications weekly, and learn 3 new skills a month — practicing for 30 minutes a day each. All that while reading *way* more books and spending more time with my wife.
Sounds impossible?
Good time management goes a long way. Stewartship delegation is also crucial. Message me if you’d like some quick guidance on both of those.
Learn More
I hinted at that in the section above. 9 months ago, I started deliberately learning 3 new skills every month, practicing 30 minutes each every day.
My growth has been phenomenal. My confidence sky-rocketed.
If there’s one truth you must know about learning, it’s this one:
The more you learn, the faster you learn. The faster you learn, the more confident you become.
I was researching for the best ways to learn faster. People give some good tips out there, but the truth is, the more you learn, the faster you learn. It’s that simple.
According to Learning to Learn on Coursera, Barbara Oakley says that “chunks” of knowledge you acquire for a specific skill helps you more quickly assimilate the knowledge required for other skills.
I’ve certainly experienced that.
Learning new skills has been my obsession, and the object of my most recent project. Sign up for my newsletter for more information and early access to a platform I’m building to accelerate your learning.
Reflect More
What good is doing and learning if you don’t take the time to reflect on results you got, whether they be good or bad.
There are many ways to do that:
Have monthly goals and review them at the end of the month. At the end of every month, write down what you want to accomplish for the month. Be precise. Quantify and qualify your goals. How much money do you want to make? How are you going to make it? What projects do you want to complete? How are you going to complete them? Who do you want to connect with? How are you going to reach out to them?
Have weekly reviews. At the end of every week, reflect on what went right, what went wrong, and how you can do better. Did you accomplish your weekly goals? Why? Why not? How can you do better next week?
Journal frequently. When I started journaling 7 months ago, I thought I’d have nothing to write and generally thought it was a dumb idea. But I tried it nonetheless. It changed my life. I have so much more clarity. A few times a week, sit down with pen and paper and simply write down anything that comes to mind. It’s so liberating. You learn so much about yourself that you didn’t even know yourself. Try asking yourself “why” 3, 5, or 7 times. It’s eye opening.
Conclusion
Developing your confidence can be done by developing your competence. Competence can be built by doing more, learning more, and reflecting more.
It’s simple in theory. Apply the strategies above to make it just as easy in practice. With consistency, you’ll become a high performer yourself, and live the life you’ve always wanted to live!
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
How to Perform at Your Best Using This Most Simple Concept
Cover Image: Sundara team by Danny Forest
Choose your room carefully
Let’s start with a little reflexion here:
Who shows up the most frequently at the gym? The people who take classes.
Who procrastinates the least for work? The people who have co-workers.
Who reads the most? People who are part of a book club.
See the pattern?
If you want to achieve more, you need to surround yourself with like-minded people.
But that’s only the first step!
If you are the most active person in the room, you are in the wrong room. — Zdravko Cvijetic
Working With Even Harder Working People
I used to think that I was one of the hardest working people out there.
Back in Toronto, everyone works hard, but it wasn’t common for someone to do 12-hour days.
When I left Toronto to work in Cambodia, I realized I wasn’t alone. In fact, there were people working even harder than I was.
And I’m sure some of you work harder than me too.
At AngkorHUB, where I was working from, Jeff Laflamme, the owner of the place, and his partner Jan, were working at least 12 hours per day, 6 days a week. They enjoy what they do, but they also do it out of necessity, which makes them work even harder. The stakes are high.
Working with and alongside them changed me. I worked harder and more efficiently. They elevated my standards for hard work.
I achieved so much more simply because they were in the same room, literally.
Getting More Fit
In January, I had the crazy goal of gaining 5kg of mass while losing 3% body fat. For an ectomorph like myself, it’s near impossible. In fact, it was 8+% of my total body weight. I was eating 4500 calories of healthy food every day. To put that into perspective, Dwayne Johnson eats 5000. The guy is 3 times my size.
I reached my mass gain goal in 26 days. I ended up losing 2% body fat. I was already very lean, so I’m more than satisfied.
During that period of time, I inspired other people at the co-working space I worked from in Málaga to get fit as well. I accidentally started a “fitness squad” and we grew from 2 members to 15 in less than a month.
I certainly didn’t see myself as a leader, but they followed me. They saw my results. They want to achieve more. Everyone, without exception, achieved way more than they thought they could.
We did 100 pushups every day. Most people who started thought they could only do about 10. Everyone ended up doing more than 20 on their first session. Most reached over 60 over the course of the day.
These people were in the right room, following others who were more fit than them.
Getting Even More Fit
The problem with the fitness squad for me is that I was in the wrong room. And I knew it.
But this changed in February. I had started journaling.
I thought it would be dumb. I thought I’d have nothing to write. But every “successful” person mention how great it is, so I decided it would be one of the 3 skills I pick up this month.
I won’t go into the details, but needless to say, I had SO MUCH to write about. I journaled for two and a half hours at the beach. For the last 30 minutes or so, there was a guy who came stretching close to me. We both noticed each other, simply because we were both doing unusual things.
After my journaling session, I went to talk to him. Turns out I actually played Pádel with him the previous weekend!
Gerrit is a fit guy. He’s always been into fitness. I learned more about fitness in my hour-long chat with him than I learned in my entire life I think. I had finally found a guy way more fit than me abroad.
That happy accident made it so I now know where the right room is for me to achieve more in fitness.
Conclusion
What is it you want to achieve?
Look around yourself.
Can you think of anyone who does what you want to achieve, but at a greater level?
If not, how can you turn that around?
The power of peers is unquestionable. We see it everywhere, in health, at work, in our recreational activities, etc.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn
When we see people do, we do. When people do it better, we do it better. When we do it better, we want to do it even better.
When we achieve our goals, we have bigger goals. When we achieve bigger goals, we become unstoppable!
Be in the right room. Do more. Be better. Achieve more!
Feel free to share your own experiences in the comments below!
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
Why Are We So Damn Impatient For Success?
Cover Photo by Aaron Ang on Unsplash
Little by little — there’s no way around it
For some reason, we humans just try to overcomplicate everything. Everything.
Think about a problem you had which you tried to find a solution for:
How simple was the solution?
How much effort did it take?
Did you execute on it?
I’m sure you didn’t have to think too hard to find a problem you overthought.
Well, I’m telling you straight: building momentum is all about Doing. Little by little. Everyday.
It’s that simple. Don’t overthink it.
I build so much momentum that not persevering is actually more difficult than procrastinating.
And this all starts with small increments. Common wisdom says 1% improvement everyday. Qualify and quantify everything, down to the little details. That way, it’s nearly impossible to not to notice gains or progress towards a goal.
How Can I Execute Every Day?
In Zdravko Cvijetic’s Ultimate Productivity Cheat Sheet, he explains what he calls the X Method.
At its most basic, it’s just marking down that you did your habit on a calendar with a big fat ‘X’.
Sounds a little childish I know.
Back when I was a kid, I would get a sun sticker on my calendar if I brushed my teeth in the morning and at night. Sounds dumb, but I’ve never looked back on my teeth brushing.
If you want a more tech-y version of that, try out the Way Of Life app, which was featured on The Tim Ferriss Show, amongst other places.
*I’m also working on a prototype app of a turbo-charged version of the Ultimate Skill-Boosting Worksheet, which will greatly help you execute on a daily basis. Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know about it!
How Do I Make Momentum Last?
True momentum really makes you unstoppable.
This morning, I was out of bed at 6:00am. Today is a Sunday. No alarm. As much as I try to tell myself to stay in bed, I’m already out by the time I finish my thought.
It’s that powerful.
I’ve had/felt this momentum for at least 5 months now. And it all began when I decided I would learn 3 new skills every month.
It really is as insane as it sounds, but the more obsessed you are with your goals, and the more frequently you achieve them, the high you get is unfathomable.
Sir Richard Branson said: “Get high on life”. I think that’s what he meant.
“There’s no talent here. This is hard work. This is obsession. Talent does not exist.” — Conor McGregor
Everyone can achieve lasting momentum.
Conclusion
Break everything down. Be consistent. Do. Little by little.
Don’t cheat. Act. Measure. Achieve. Build momentum.
Always aim for more. Aim freaking high. Take criticizing. Let it be your fuel to achieve more better things.
Be obsessed. Research. Know your goals. Execute.
Rinse and repeat.
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
One Simple Yet Powerful Way To Do More In Your Limited 24 Hours
Cover Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash
You can always do more than you think
How do you spend your time during your limited 24 hour day?
Do you plan for it?
Do you know in advance what you will be doing for the next day?
What do you do the most frequently?
Here are my own personal answers:
This is how I spent my days in February:
Pasted from my Google Keep notes
As you can see, it’s quite detailed. Below is an example of how I planned for the next day:
Pasted from my Google Keep notes. Sorry for the Spanish, but I’m learning it, so I’m writing it!
What I do the most: Work on Soul Reaper.
How To Do More
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens
If you analyze my daily schedule and my day planning, you should have a good idea of what kind of person I am, or will become.
If you know my story, you know I learn 3 new skills every month. For this month, I’m learning:
Podcasting (see 6:30am: Read Story)
Social Media Marketing (see 8:00am)
Norwegian Language (see 7:30am Duolingo)
Bonus: Journaling (see 7:00am)
In January, one of my skills was writing. I wanted to become a better writer. I had no real experience prior to January 1st.
Well, by writing every day, I actually did become a writer. I write for The Startup, The Ascent, On The Rise, and many more. I became a top writer on Medium in 10 categories, including Inspiration, Life, Life Lessons, Self Improvement, Entrepreneurship and Startup. I also write for Entrepreneur Magazine, Thought Catalog, and Thrive Global. I love writing now and some people know me as a writer.
Another one of the skills I practiced a few months back was photography. I started from zero. I studied all the terms, how to take good photos, etc. I analyzed professionals. Shortly after I was asked to take photos for Sundarafund.org in Uganda, and now I’m doing it semi-professionally.
Not all skills turn into gold, but if I didn’t do them, I would not have become a writer or a photographer. I never thought I’d ever be good at them. Photography and Writing are creative things. I’m a software engineer by trade.
You can always do more than you think.
You’ve got the time. Plan for it. Do a detailed schedule and stick to it. You’ll waste less time and be more productive doing things that bring you closer to what you want to be.
Conclusion
Most of us want to be more than what we currently are. Yet we do nothing to make it happen.
Try the 3 skills approach. Dare try things out of your comfort zone. You’ll notice you’re better than you think you are.
Plan your days, at least one day in advance. Be precise with time. Execute consistently.
Before you know it, you’ll have become the things you have been doing.
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
5 Steps To Fight Procrastination Off
Cover Photo: A WeWork opening in Bangalore by Danny Forest
Follow This Simple Formula For A Better Future
How often do you procrastinate doing things?
Sometimes even the things we want to do, we can’t find the energy to actually do them.
I’d say this is a normal human behaviour. We are not programmed to do things out of our comfort zone.
Our inaction towards our goals is a major factor in us not attaining “success”, however you define the word.
But why do we not execute on the things we want to do?
After all, most of the time, we have a “clear” path to “success”. We know that to reach goal ‘x’, we must do action ‘y’. Yet we don’t do action ‘y’.
The problem is we don’t really know goal ‘x’ and action ‘y’. I mean, we don’t know their details. We don’t go deep enough.
To become a bodybuilder, we must workout at the gym.
Everyone knows that.
I would procrastinate like hell if that was my plan to become a bodybuilder!
The Six-Word Formula For Success
“Think things through, then follow through.” — Eddie Rickenbacker
Think things through, then follow through. Eddie Rickenbacker said it right.
When I first read that, I didn’t immediately get it. I mean, it’s obvious isn’t it?
But here’s the key in my opinion, and experience:
“Think things through”
Go freaking deep in your thinking.
Research every detail on how to reach your goal. Break everything down to the fundamentals.
Craft a solid plan of actionable items to reach your goal. Be precise with quantities and quality. Set a timeline. Make the deadlines hard, but achievable.
Execute consistently. Don’t skip a day. Measure your increments towards your goal. Every actionable item you tick is success towards your goal.
Adjust your plan as you go. It won’t be perfect on first try. Keep researching as you go.
Rinse and repeat.
By having a solid plan of action, you can’t help but follow through. I write a lot about gaining momentum.
We procrastinate because a task seems too hard to achieve. It requires too much energy.
With carefully planned bite-sized actionable items, you are constantly winning.
Each task is so small and achievable that thinking-of-not-doing-it is almost harder than actually doing it.
And by having a timeline, you never want to push anything further. It’s a dreadful domino effect.
I set weekly and monthly goals personally. I never want to carry a goal over to the next month, because that means next month I’ll either have way too much on my plate, or I’ll have to drop other goals I may have.
Teamweek has been my personal tool of choice for the past 2–3 months now. Check it out!
Conclusion
It bears repeating:
“There’s a six-word formula for success: Think things through, then follow through.” — Eddie Rickenbacker
Craft a solid plan, and following through will instantly become easier. The doing is often times the easy part once you have a clear direction of where you’re going.
The more you follow through, the easier it gets. You build momentum and become unstoppable.
Think. Research. Break every down. Plan. Execute, execute, execute. Rinse and Repeat.
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
F Luck, It’s Time To Realize Your Full Potential
Cover Photo by Jared Erondu on Unsplash
Do What — Deep Down — You Know You Can Do
“Luck” is one of those words I don’t really take seriously, and can’t help put between quotation marks.
Being Unlucky
I’m tired of hearing people say that they’re not successful because they’re not lucky.
For the most part, it’s BS.
Now, I’m not saying unlucky events don’t exist. They clearly do. A simple example is the circumstances of our birth. We don’t choose where we’re born, who our family is, what we look like, etc.
I was fortunate to be born in Canada from a good family and looking good enough.
But here’s the thing — I was born from a single mom with close to no education. By Canadian standards, we were dirt poor. With the exception of one brother, no one in my extended family even finished high school.
This morning I woke up to a face that’s full of rashes and is itchy. It wasn’t a surprise really, because about 4–5 years ago, I started having a recurring condition called Seborrheic Dermatitis. I also have tiny legs.
In high school, I was getting okay grades. I wasn’t particularly athletic and didn’t have that many friends.
Three of the six startups I’ve started over the years have “failed”. All the pitches I’ve done to investors were rejected. For my latest three startups, the sales of my products are way lower than I want them to be.
So here me out here: I am/was NOT unlucky.
Did I give up love because I didn’t have a model of a good relationship growing up?
F no! I’m happily married and have been with my wife for 14 years. I’m doing anything in my power not to repeat the same mistakes my parents made.
Did I give up on my appearance because I have a medical condition I’ll have for the rest of my life? Did I give up on my legs because growing them is very hard?
F no! I seek the best treatment. If anything, that makes me want to make the rest of my body even more appealing, and bulk those legs up!
Did I give up school because no one in my family cared for it? Did I give up because I didn’t have the best grades?
F no! I pushed through until I was satisfied with what I had learned.
Did I give up on my entrepreneurship dreams after “failed” attempts?
F no! I learned from my mistakes and applied the lessons learned in my future startups. Heck, I’m even reviving a startup I had started 8 years ago because it was a great idea that I just couldn’t execute probably back then.
I could have given up for any of those. I could have blamed it on misfortune and just never rise above that.
Don’t give up. Don’t accept bad luck.
In The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, Dr. Joseph Murphy repeatedly mentions how powerful thoughts to your subconscious are. If you let it believe that something can’t change, it won’t.
“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” — Henry Ford
Ford didn’t come from a wealthy background. Far from it. He didn’t go to school. He was also accused of not being very smart.
Did he think he couldn’t do what he set out to do?
F no!
What makes you think you’re any different?
Next time you catch yourself saying — or thinking — that you’re unlucky, I challenge you to say “F that! I’m the master of my own destiny!”.
Being Lucky
Here’s another thing I’m tired of people telling me: “You have it easy. You’re lucky. Doing ‘x’ is your talent. You’re lucky you traveled the world. You’re lucky for knowing person ‘y’.”
F that.
I don’t have a talent. Talents are BS. I wasn’t born to do anything in life. I chose the things I wanted to become good at.
As a kid, I wanted to be a video game developer. I knew I had to learn programming. Was it easy? F no! It took me a full semester to learn to do a proper “for loop”. I certainly wasn’t the smartest kid.
Does writing come naturally for me? F no! I’ve been trained to use my left-brain more through my regular job. Writing is creative —is right-brained. The reason I’ve been able to do it consistently for almost 7 months now is that I had “researched” how to write and I practiced without fail. I certainly wasn’t born good at it.
Am I lucky I traveled the world for a year? F no! Why on earth would that be luck?
If money is a concern for people, here’s the truth: I traveled with my wife for a year on a 30k (CAD) budget. That included transportation, lodging, food, and activities. For people living in poorer countries, this may sound like a lot, but let’s put this in perspective. Our monthly spending in Toronto was above 60k per year. And we were certainly not living in luxury. Traveling for a year is CHEAPER than living in a big city. And there are plenty of ways to earn money while on the go, and even living for free.
A lot of people want to do it but say they can’t because of a current situation they’re in. Most of the time, I’d say it’s BS. Their desire is just not strong enough. They simply don’t prioritize it over other things.
So, is it luck that I prioritized it?
Am I lucky for knowing certain people? F no! You’d be surprised how a well-crafted message can go a long way. That and persistence. And outside-the-box thinking.
And here’s another idea:
“Be so good they can’t ignore you.” — Steve Martin
Are you really that good? Are you really as good as you can be? My personal objective answer is often “no”. That pushes me to become “so good”.
I’ve been reached out to by top writers and top publications over the past 7 months. Luck? F no! You really think people like Arianna Huffington has time for random selection?
Don’t call me lucky.
If anything, calling me lucky is an insult to my hard/smart work.
When something good happens to you, I challenge you to identify its cause. Even though sometimes it might seem like pure luck, isn’t it true that you set yourself up for success?
Conclusion
As long as you keep blaming luck for your successes and failures, you won’t be able to realize your full potential. You’re creating a mental block for your subconscious and leading it to think that your life is not under your own control.
Trust me, it mostly is under your control.
Are you guilty of blaming luck for yourself and for others?
Are you ready to take responsibility for your own success?
I say stand up and rise to your full potential. I say reject poisonous, negative thoughts about your circumstances and act on them. Together, let’s say F luck!
Let’s do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
It’s Time For You to Take a Break!
Cover Photo by Max Rovensky on Unsplash
Sometimes, That’s the Most Productive Thing You Can Do
When I left Canada a year ago, I went to a co-working/co-living space in Siem Reap, Cambodia. My goal was to focus on working on my game.
And boy did I work hard! I was so focused. I had so much momentum! I was working 12–14 hours per day. I got so much done during that time.
The same happened a few months later in Spain, and more recently, in India.
My gas pedal was all the way back.
“There’s no substitute for hard work.” — Thomas A. Edison
Part of the reason I worked that hard was because I knew I’d take a vacation well-deserved vacation a few months after.
In those two months in Cambodia, I had accomplished more work than I would have done in 3 months of normal work. Way more! It’s not just because of the number of hours, but the focus also. In fact, it was mostly because of focus.
But obviously, I was quite exhausted from the crazy hours. So when came time for a vacation , I was ready. I needed it. With the exception of sometimes providing my team with guidance, I didn’t work at all.
My brake pedal was all the way back.
“Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax.” — Mark Black
And here’s the magic: both moments felt amazing!
As entrepreneurs, we rarely find focus in anything we do. When we take a vacation, we think about work. When we work, we think about vacation. This didn’t happen to me.
I was completely focused on my work; and
I was completely focused on my vacation.
I’ve since adopted this work hard, brake hard mentality. I’ve done it three times so far. Every time it was fantastic.
How Can You Do That?
Now, I realize it’s not that easy to accomplish for most people.
For one, it’s pretty hard to pull off if you’re working for someone else. The company mentality also has to allow for that.
At Power Level Studios, everyone is pretty much self-managed and everyone can work from anywhere, at any time they work best. It’s in our culture. We plan for that. Most of us have taken full-month breaks.
If you are a small business owner, you can try it out. Think of it as buying vacation time. Let your employees work as much as they want, when they work best. Let them accumulate hours of vacation time. Your employees will be more than happy to give their best for such a compromise.
And when they finish their much-deserved vacation, they’ll be more than happy to put back as much effort when coming back.
Any company that lets employees take long vacations is well-respected by their employees.
I also realize that you can’t change the mentality just like that, because of clients, deadlines, etc. Try on the next project. Experiment with a division of the company.
Think outside the box. Don’t shut off the idea just because you’re in too deep.
Conclusion
Focus brings the best in all of us. That applies at work, at home, on a vacation, etc. Yet in today’s world, focus is a rare commodity.
The Work Hard, Brake Hard approach teaches you to focus on the present moment. When you work, you work. When you take vacation, you take a vacation. You stop thinking about vacation at work, and you stop thinking about work on vacation. It’s magical!
Think about how you can implement this in your life or at work. Experiment. Think outside the box. See what works for you. See what doesn’t. Refine. Try again.
Reap the benefits of working hard and braking hard!
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
Two Simple Methods To At Least 3x Your Luck
Cover Photo by averie woodard on Unsplash
Hint: It’s easier than you think
When we look at all the “successful” people we know, personally or not, one thing they have in common is that they didn’t set out to do what made them “successful”.
Circumstances made it so they did something or something happened to them and here they are now. They never set out to do this particular thing that made them great in the first place.
Some people call this serendipity. I call it a happy accident. I like “accident” because it can be “positive” or “negative”. Whichever the case, it changes the course of your life and shapes you to be a better version of yourself.
One of my favourite scene from the TV Show Vikings (a little bit of spoiler here) is when King Ragnar lets his army lead an assault and sees them fail. He then proceeds to talk to them. He said, and I’m paraphrasing: “I didn’t choose to be King. I never aimed for that, but circumstances made it so I gained this power […]”.
Happy accident? Not quite.
Building on that idea:
One of the questions Tim Ferriss almost always asks his guess on his podcast or in his latest book, Tribe of Mentors, is: “How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?”
That is a KEY question.
“Bad” things in life will continually happen to you. Most of the guests talk about a bad experience that ultimately changed their direction and made them who they are today.
Happy accident? Not quite.
So many things happened to me “by accident”. Things I never plan for.
I didn’t set out to find an awesome wife when I was 17 years old, working in strawberry fields. Yet I did meet her and have been happily married since.
When I bought my first condo in Montreal 8 years ago, I knew it was a good investment, but I never knew I’d sell it for great profit a year later, helping me getting rid of all my debts and later travel all around the world.
When I failed to launch my 3rd business, I joined a team who pitched to the same investors and got the funding. I learned so much about business, backend development and made tons of important connections.
And way way more things.
These “accidents” always lead to other better things. Especially in hindsight.
These happy accidents shape our future. They make us who we are. They help us “succeed” in life.
I’m sure you’ve got accidents that, in hindsight, have been beneficial in your life, and to the lives of people around you. And I bet you don’t even have to look that far.
If we agree that they’re good for us, then here’s the question:
How To Frequently Trigger Happy Accidents?
I’ve got an easy answer for you:
Do and Learn. A whole lot.
Do a lot
“Don’t let the fear of what could happen make nothing happen.” — https://www.pinterest.com/explore/accident-quotes/
The more things you do, the higher the chance of such events happening.
When someone you haven’t seen for a little while asks you “What have you been up to?”, what do you answer?
A lot of people answer “Same old, same old”. Let’s be honest here, it’s a boring answer.
I don’t want to insult anyone here, but high-performing people don’t answer that. They always have things to say. They try things. They experiment. They do. And it doesn’t have to have meaning. It doesn’t have to be something related to work. New sports, new skills, new languages, new activities, etc.
You never know what can happen from joining a local sports team as an example. Maybe you’ll meet someone who has the right connections in a field you want to get your feet into. And BAM, all of a sudden you’re well connected and perform in a field you really care about. Not because you studied the subject for years, but because you joined a local football team.
I’m a game developer. A few years ago I went hiking the Inca Trail in Peru. I met a very important person working at Sony on the Playstation team. That connection paid off. I never set out to meet him.
Happy accident.
Learn a lot
“Once you stop learning, you start dying.” — Albert Einstein
For those who have read my stories here, you know I learn 3 new skills every month.
This has changed my life. This has opened many doors.
Recently I got criticism about the deepness at which I do learn these skills. It is true that in one month, it’s hard to go very deep in learning a skill. I try to follow the 20/80 rule, where 20% of the effort leads to 80% of the results, yet they are right about not going deep. I would not become a professional in any of the skills I practice during those times.
But here’s why it’s great nonetheless:
The more different things you learn, the more patterns you create for your brain to learn other things. The more patterns your brain recognizes, the faster you can assimilate other concepts, in a related field, or something else. That is KEY.
The more things I learn, the more interesting I become. I can relate to many subjects with many people. A lot of times, my level in those skills is more than enough to carry a great conversation.
It expands my interests in other things. Being a programmer by trade, I always thought of myself as a logical person, yet I learned that I can draw, speak other languages, give public speeches, write stories and take photos professionally. All that because I dared try it for a month. I didn’t set out to make money writing or taking photos. Yet I do get paid for it now. Who knows, maybe someday I’ll be known for one of the simple skills I learned during a specific month, and not my programming.
Conclusion
What are some accidents that happened to you that turned out to be beneficial, for you or for someone you care about?
What are your personal tricks to make them more likely to happen?
The more you do and learn, the higher the chance of triggering these happy accidents.
These happy accidents shape you and make you a better person, a “successful” person.
Do not seek them or they won’t happen. Make them more likely to happen.
Do more. Learn more. Be interesting. Do good. Be happy. Repeat.
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
One Good Choice You Don’t Realize You Make Almost Every Day
Cover Photo by Brendan Church on Unsplash
Being Aware of it Makes it Even Better
As per usual, I was listening to The Tim Ferriss Show as I was walking this morning.
The guest speaker was Catherine Hoke, a very inspiring woman who helps ex-convicts pick their life up and start businesses or get employed. She runs Defy Ventures.
At one point in the podcast, she said something I found both profound and inspiring:
“Quitting is a choice, you just chose not to take it.” — Catherine Hoke.
I don’t know if she got it from somewhere else, but nonetheless, I found that very powerful.
How many times have you heard the sentence: “I’ve gone so far now, I can’t quit.”?
Pretty often right?
What if we shift that around?
It’s not true that you can’t. You’d probably rather not, but you can. You can always quit. But you choose not to.
Making a conscious choice and owning it is so much more powerful than pretending it wasn’t up to us.
When you are in the mindset that you own the decisions you take, you’re willing to work so much harder to respect the choice you made.
Not Quitting Working Out
Back in January, I set myself the goal of gaining 5kg of muscles in 30 days. It’s extremely difficult for an ectomorph like myself to pull this off. It was almost 10% of my body weight after all!
Up until 10 days before the end, I wasn’t on track to reach that goal. I had a choice to make: Do I keep going, even though I didn’t think it was possible anymore giving the number of days left, or do I quit and be happy with my current gains (3.2 kg at the time)?
I chose not to quit.
I didn’t quit, not because I had gone so far, but because I chose to pursue my goal. Even harder. Even smarter. It was very much conscious. I pushed harder. By making this choice, I gained even more momentum. I owned it.
I weighed myself 7 days after and I achieved my crazy goal!
I achieved it because I chose not to quit.
Not Quitting Writing
Another crazy goal I set myself in January was to write one story a day on Medium. All that in 45 minutes or less, including coming up with the headline, finding quotes and at least one image.
It was insane. Especially given my lack of experience writing anything that wasn’t related to my game.
After 5 days only, I got published. And 23 days later, I got an email from Medium saying I was now a top writer in Entrepreneurship, Life Lessons, and Self Improvement.
How did I reach there?
I chose not to quit.
Any writer would tell you this is an insane goal.
I seriously don’t know how I managed to do it. There are days I would stare at my screen, just not coming with anything good to write. I would stare at the screen for 10–15 minutes. I’d try things and scrap them. I have lots of short drafts waiting to be written. But because I gave myself only 45 minutes maximum to write something, I only had so much time left to write something.
I never quit. I chose to continue even though odds were against me that I would write something meaningful.
Conclusion
When’s the last time you faced a situation where you had to choose between quitting or pressing on?
What did you choose?
For what reason?
In hindsight, was it a choice you made, or you had to do it?
If you didn’t quit, I’m willing to bet you chose not to quit.
Feel free to share your answers (positive or negative) in the comments.
Next time you’re faced with such a decision, own your decision. If you choose not to quit, realize it’s your decision and do everything to honor it.
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
Become a Win-Master Using This Powerful Science-Based Method
Cover Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash
Four examples of successful implementation of this method
Such a cheesy sentence: “You can succeed at everything you do.”
Feels like something our grandmas would tell us growing up.
We believed them, yet we failed. Constantly.
Were they wrong? Are we all doomed to fail? Was this all BS?
To this I say: they were right!
In fact, you are succeeding in most of the things you do, without knowing it. You’re succeeding, just not at a degree you think you were aiming for.
How I Won Back In January
I gained 5kg of muscles;
I lost 2% body fat;
I got published by The Startup and became a top writer in Entrepreneurship, Life Lessons, and Self Improvement on Medium;
I established a partnership with another company to work on my game;
I released 3 new versions of my game;
I hired 3 new people for my video game startup;
I found a partner to work with me on a new startup idea I had;
I started a fitness group at the co-working space I work at. We grew from 2 members to 12 members in less than two weeks; and
I gave a very successful talk about productivity.
I’m certainly not saying that to brag.
Am I more skilled than you? Likely not. Some of these happened by accident. So then you think I’m luckier than you? Well, again, likely not.
Here’s the rule to become a win-master:
Measure — quantify and qualify — everything you want to win in.
That is a common pattern amongst “successful” people. In fact, that’s probably the 100th story you read about that tip.
But stick around, I’m sure you’ll find something worthwhile here!
Becoming a Win-Master at Weight Goals
Surprisingly, this is one of the easiest to win in, yet everyone “fails”.
In one of my latest stories: One Good Choice You Don’t Realize You Make Almost every day, I opened up on how I didn’t quit my goal of gaining 5kg when I thought there was no way I would be able to succeed anymore. As you know from above, I did end up winning.
And here’s why I say it’s one of the easiest: You’ve got so many things you can measure when it comes to weight, whether for gains or for loss. There’s nothing subjective about weight control.
We all use a scale to weigh ourselves. When we see the same results every day, we think we fail. That’s wrong! Remember, measure everything!
Measure your body fat percentage, measure the width of each part of your body. Review weekly. Sometimes the scale will show you weigh the same, yet you did gain or lose somewhere else. I gained 1.5 inches of arm size. Same with legs and shoulders. Every day I’d measure everything. If my weight didn’t change, at least I’d see a change in one of these. I won — every day — 30 days in a row.
Want to lose weight? Do the same. Sometimes you’ll gain muscle mass, so the scale will show the same number, but the tape will tell you your waist is smaller, it’s just that your biceps grew stronger.
Becoming a Win-Master at Work
I touched a bit on that in: 5 Small Habits Changes to Turbo-Charge Your Productivity.
I tend to break every task down into 10–15 minutes efforts. When you work on something so big it takes a long time to accomplish, it’s easy to lose motivation and feel like we’re not accomplishing anything.
Yet every work day, I win about 32 times. All small tasks lead to a bigger goal. And by breaking it down and continually winning, I have all the motivation to accomplish the bigger goal.
Becoming a Win-Master at Getting People to Say Yes to You
That is how I managed to release 3 new versions of my game in less than a month:
The 3 new people I got for working on my game with me, I approached them. They all said yes. Two didn’t know me.
The company that’s partnering with my company to build the game didn’t hesitate to work with us.
The new partner I made to work on another startup I have proposed his help even before I could do it myself.
How does measuring everything helps with that?
I didn’t approach random people to help me:
I studied them;
I researched what they do;
I found out what they like to do;
I figured where they are currently in their career; and
I verified how available they might be.
I measured how likely they might be interested in the work, my game, my team, myself. I measured how available they might be.
I approached people that ranked high in the measurements I did. This doesn’t guarantee a “yes”, but it makes it more likely than just blindly reaching out.
When you show them that you did your research, they trust you. Even if they don’t yet know you.
Becoming a Win-Master at Public Speaking
That was all new to me, yet the first time I did it, I nailed it. Or at least, I did very well for the first time.
How do I know? Here’s how I know. Sorry for the “boring” spreadsheet. I still encourage you to look at it. I measured my performance on 30 different points. Sometimes 5 means it’s excellent, sometimes I’m aiming for balance, so 3 is excellent.
I won on the majority of the points. But not all. There’s room for improvements. If I didn’t track all these points, I could have thought I failed or I was excellent. But now I know for sure how I did.
If you do a presentation that you think you failed, get feedback on many points, you’ll see you won on many of them. The more you practice, the more of the points you’ll win.
Conclusion
How often do you win in things you do?
How often do you fail at things you do?
Did you measure how you won or failed?
If you think hard enough, do you see some success in your failures?
If you measured everything, do you think you could win more?
I know you would.
Let my wins be your wins. Think differently. Quantify and qualify everything. Every small win is a win. Every win leads to bigger wins.
You can succeed at everything you do.
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
8 Tips On Becoming a Power Napping Expert
Cover Photo by: Liliana Marin on Unsplash
Power Napping Is Not For Lazy People
I power nap almost every day. And I swear I’m no lazy bastard.
In fact, power napping is one of my top productivity advice.
Power Napping Is A Skill
Power napping is hard. Like any skill, it takes practice. I’ve only started being good at it 11 months ago. I do it almost every day now. But before that, I would try at least once per week and I would “fail” most of the time. Actually, even to this day, I still don’t always fall asleep.
A power nap is typically 15–20 minutes long. I personally power nap to give myself an extra 2–3 hours of productive work.
A more powerful alternative is the coffee nap. Basically, you quickly drink a shot of espresso coffee right before your power nap. The caffeine takes about 20 minutes to kick in, so right at the same time as you finish your power nap.
I would suggest you don’t try coffee naps until you can do power naps though, for three reasons: 1. Not everyone can quickly drink a hot coffee. 2. It’s harder to fall asleep, and 2. It’s quite powerful when you do it right. When I do coffee naps, I have to be ready to go to bed much later. It makes it much harder for me to fall asleep.
Expert Power Napping Tips
Here are a few tips for a successful power nap:
Don’t power nap if you’re not tired enough. I usually fall asleep in about 10–15 minutes when I’m really tired. This is different for everyone. 10–15 is actually quite a lot. If I’m tired enough but need a break, I usually take a 15–20 minute walk.
Put an alarm. I set mine for 25 minutes. I end up napping between 10–15 minutes. The alarm frees you from thinking about waking up on time.
Don’t nap for more than 15 +/- 5 minutes. This depends on people obviously. 10–15 minutes work great for me. 20 minutes makes it hard for me to wake up.
Cut off the distractions. I always listen to a song called Earth, from Gladiator’s soundtrack (by Hans Zimmer). I know other people who use earplugs. If you’re good at meditating, you can probably do without earplugs or music.
Be comfortable but not too much. Napping in a comfortable bed makes it hard to get out. I currently nap on my chair, resting my head on the desk with my arms crossed over. It’s really not that comfortable. If you have access to a couch, I would go for that.
A “successful” nap is not always about sleeping. I don’t always fall asleep. You still gain energy back from relaxing.
It takes some time to recover from the nap. Plan for 15–20 minutes to be back to full energy. A successful power nap almost entirely removes this grace period.
Don’t nap when it’s close to bedtime. By close, I mean less than 3–4 hours. You will have a hard time sleeping at night if you do that. I sometimes just go to bed at around 8pm because of that. My next day tends to be more productive since I’m well rested.
If you do want to do a coffee nap, go for an espresso. If you can’t set the water temperature, let it sit in the freezer for 3–5 minutes. You have to make sure to drink it fast. Real fast. The caffeine takes about 20 minutes to kick in, so it’s the same length as the power nap.
Practice, Practice, Practice
This takes practice. Keep trying. Don’t judge a “failed” nap. There are still benefits even if you don’t always fall asleep. Acknowledge that it does take time to fully recover as well. I’ve been doing it for over 2 years now and on average, I get 2–3 extra productive hours every day.
If you’re a leader in your company, lead by example. A lot of people are shy and are afraid of looking like a slacker. Show them it’s okay to power nap. Encourage them to do it. Do it yourself.
If you work from public places like coffee shops or co-working spaces (like me), just do it. The first time I did it, I was afraid of judgment. Especially because I was quite new here. But seriously, who cares. I cared more about my productivity than for what people thought.
And to my surprise, I didn’t get judgment, but curiousness. People started asking me why I was doing it, how I was doing, etc. People started doing it after.
Conclusion
Yawning constantly? Nap!
Can’t do simple tasks? Nap!
Struggling to keep your eyes opened? Nap!
Nap! Nap! NAP!
Power nap in the middle of the day when you need it. Make better decisions, be more productive, work longer and better. Your brain deserves a break too!
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
5 Small Habit Changes to Turbo-Charge Your Productivity
Cover Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash
Productivity leads to wins. Wins lead to momentum. Momentum makes you unstoppable.
Waking up at 5:45am? Piece of cake once you’re unstoppable!
Going to the gym? Piece of cake once you’re unstoppable!
Finishing a hard, or a boring task at work? Piece of cake once you’re unstoppable!
Working on the same game for 2–3 years? Piece of cake once you’re unstoppable!
Learning a new skill? Piece of cake once you’re unstoppable!
You get the idea.
But this all starts by being productive.
“Focus on being productive instead of busy.” — Tim Ferriss
And being productive is not all about working more than others, it’s also about working more efficiently. Differently. Thinking outside the box.
Apply the following 5 tips. Let them inspire you to come up with your own. Let me and the world know what works for you in the comments. Let’s all be productive and build our momentum!
1. Split Tasks Into Their Smallest Components
Is an orange a single component?
Well, no. When you break it down into its smallest components, there’s quite more to it.
A lot of our tasks are similar. For some reason, we don’t dare break it down into smaller components.
I personally aim to break everything down into about 10–15 minutes tasks.
As proven by science and explained in this article, the brain dumps a little dopamine every time we successfully accomplish a task — no matter how big or small.
This habit also has a tendency of keeping you moving toward your goals, and clearing the mental clutter in your mind. — TheMindUnleashed.com
2. Start the Day With One or Two Easy Tasks
Even though I consider myself to be highly motivated, I still need a “win” or two to start my day. After completing easy tasks, I have the motivation and energy to tackle the real hard problems.
Working as a programmer, I typically start with an easy bug fix or small UI change that can be done in 10 minutes or less. Pushing the code up and moving the Trello card to “Done” gives me the drive to keep going.
Working out? Do 10 push-ups as you wake up. You’ll be ready to go to the gym.
Writing? Start by praising a writer you like.
Or even easier, start by making your bed. I personally find it a little too easy and doesn’t really work towards my own personal goals, but it works for other people.
3. Work On Your Hardest Tasks When You Work Best
For me, it happens in the morning, right after I finish my one or two easy tasks. I start so early that I don’t have any distractions for about 2 hours, and I have all the energy from having woken up not too long ago + coffee + dopamine rush from previously completing tasks. It’s a recipe for success!
Hard tasks for me include game design/balancing and engineering new systems. Things that require all my brain power. It will be something different for you.
The point is: Don’t spend your high-quality energy on low-importance tasks, otherwise you’ll end up with high-quality results for low-importance tasks.
Always aim for high-quality results for high-importance tasks. It’s that simple!
“Nothing is less productive than to make more efficient what should not be done at all.” ~ Peter Drucker
4. Prepare Your Next Day the Night Before
This greatly helps with waking up in the morning! At the end of my workday, I write down all the tasks I’ll be working on for the next day and review it before going to bed. This helps me wake up with a sense of purpose. I know what needs to be done, and I want to do it!
As a bonus, my brain keeps working while I sleep, so sometimes I come up with genius ideas on how to complete my tasks while I sleep! Everyone has heard the expression: “sleep on it”. Well, there you go! It’s been proven many times that it helps and here’s an explanation:
REM [sleep] helps to stabilize, consolidate, and enhance connections between memories. Information that was stored in long-term memory during the day is activated (also called rehearsed) and turned into useful connections while we experience REM sleep. — factmyth.com
5. Take Breaks and Relax
Have you ever worked on a problem you couldn’t figure out for hours, and later went back to it and solved it in a matter of minutes? Often right?
The problem is we obsess over problems we can’t solve. We spend the little energy we have left trying to figure it out, but the mind just doesn’t work as it should. Take a damn break! It’s a skill that takes practice: figure out when and how to take breaks. Don’t do it on a schedule, that makes no sense. Take a break when you can’t solve a problem that you should be able to solve with minimal to low-effort.
My favourite ways to re-energize are: Power Naps, Coffee Naps, Walking, Showering and Meditating, in no particular order.
Bonus tip: Ignore the people judging you for taking a well-deserved break.
People may label you as a slacker but they’re wrong. Ignore them, reap the rewards and be more productive than them!
Conclusion
Remember that being unstoppable all starts from being more productive.
Whatever you find hard to get motivated on can be made simpler with a series of small productivity wins.
The tips above help you manage your expectations, but also help with respecting your body and mind.
Have you tried applying any of these tips?
Which ones work for you?
What are some of your personal favourite tips?
Feel free to share your experiences in the comments and inspire the rest of the world!
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
Your Weakness Is A Strength In Disguise
Cover Photo by Jackson Hendry on Unsplash
How to Use Your Weakness to Turn It Into a Strength
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s story is an amazing one. If you haven’t read his biography: “Total Recall: My Unbelievable True Life Story”, add it to your list. There’s something for everyone and it’s incredibly inspiring.
Of all the things he did, here’s where I think I learned the most valuable lesson:
“I knew if I exposed only my better body parts — my arms, chest, or deltoids — all I’d get from my peers would be wonderful comments and I’d soon forget about my horrid lower legs, so I continued to wear the cutaway sweatpants that invited ego-bruising pain … and it worked. I trained them first every workout, and very often I did a few sets at the end of my workout.” — Arnold Schwarzenegger.
How often do we expose our weaknesses?
Very rarely.
I have really small legs for a man. I’ve always been ashamed of them. In fact, I was teased for it when I was younger. For a long time I would not wear shorts because of that. I didn’t want to expose them. I didn’t want to expose this weakness.
I was afraid of judgement from other people. I still am actually. Aren’t we all?
But by exposing my legs at the gym now, I am so much more motivated to work them out. It’s very hard for me. I’ve got weak legs. But at the gym, no one is judging me for it. They get it. They see that I’m working on my weakness and respect that.
I just mentioned one of my body weakness, like Arnold, but this really applies to everything, not just the body. It can be a skill you can’t pick up, a fear you have, in business, at work, anything really. I can hardly ride a bicycle. I’m afraid of heights. I’m afraid of drowning, etc.
Exposing your weaknesses is incredibly hard to do. It’s made a little easier by having more self-confidence. But, there’s a key lesson here: expose your weaknesses in the right environment.
I prefer not to expose my legs outside the gym. Out of context, people will judge me negatively for it.
Unless you have Arnold’s confidence, I suggest you do that same. Expose your weaknesses in environment where people will be more open to seeing your weakness. And gradually expand that environment.
For me, I’ve grown my legs considerably this month. They’re still really small, but less so than before. Little by little, I’m becoming less ashamed of them.
If I didn’t expose on my legs, chances are I would have worked mostly on my arms, where I have a clear strength.
So let’s all learn that from Arnold!
A Little Exercise
What are your weaknesses?
How do you hide them?
How do you expose them?
What are you doing towards them?
Let’s help each other out. Feeling brave? Post in the comments. You’ll see it feels good to let it out there, in a non-judgemental environment.
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
Airplane Mode Strengthened My Marriage
Cover Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash
How Disconnecting After Work Can Help Your Most Important Relationships
A few weeks ago, my wife was feeling down and didn’t know what to do about it. Things with her work were not going according to plans, she wasn’t being challenged enough, and overall felt like she wasn’t spending her time the best way she could.
I was at work when she messaged me about how she felt. I strongly suggested her to try journaling. The idea was just to write down anything that came to mind, with an emphasis on gratitude, realizing the important things and important people in her life.
Though it was a great suggestion, I probably should have called her instead. But I digress.
I came back a bit early from work that day. She had listened to my suggestion and journaled.
She came crying in my arms, thanking me and apologizing to me. I wasn’t expecting that. When I had mentioned it, I certainly didn’t think about her being grateful to me. If anything, I had been a terrible husband. But I didn’t realize it then.
We thought her problems were related to work. We were wrong. I was wrong.
Her crying and being grateful to me made me realize that I didn’t deserve it. She works for Doctors Without Borders. She does six-month missions where I cannot be with her. We are apart for at least half the year, yet ever since we had reunited in February, all I’ve done was work.
I pride myself in being involved in seven different projects, having impeccable routines, working 14 hours a day — including on weekends, and achieving many of my goals. When we finished work for the day, I would tell her about all my achievements with intense enthusiasm, completely ignoring the fact that things were not going as well for her.
When I came back to her that day and she told me she was grateful for the things I did for her, I couldn’t help but realize I didn’t deserve it.
I apologized to her a few hours after that realization. I was a most negligent husband. A classic workaholic who only thought about my work.
Boundary-Setting Changes
I told her I’d change things around:
I decided we’d leave work earlier. We used to finish at 7 pm. Now we’re aiming for any time between 5–6 pm. That extra time we have together is used to talk about other things than work, and do more than just watch another episode of Suits on Netflix.
I decided I’d put my phone in airplane mode after work, helping me disconnect from any work distraction. Our 4G is currently our only internet at home, so that means completely disconnecting for us.
Here’s the realization I came to:
She is the most important person in my life, yet I was neglecting her for something I most certainly didn’t need to get done right away: my work.
Now she’s going to leave again for six months in about a month.
It doesn’t matter all the accomplishments I’ve made in the past 4 months. I now wished I had put my phone in airplane mode earlier. We communicate more. We communicate better. We spend more quality time together and have more mutual respect for each other.
Conclusion
Think about your most important relationships. Ask yourself these questions:
Who are your most important relationships with?
How do you cherish them?
What do you do to keep these relationships healthy?
What boundaries do you set to disconnect from work and nurture these relationships?
Are you doing the best you can?
Have you considered that maybe it’s your fault that the relationship isn’t perfect?
What can you do about it?
Something as mundane cutting yourself from technology after work can have major impacts in your life and your relationships. But that’s not the only way, and only you know what works for you. Reflect on that. Experiment. Implement.
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
What You Listen To Can Indeed Change Your Life Forever
Cover Photo by Harli Marten on Unsplash
I didn’t believe it then, I do now
What do you listen to? Podcasts? Music? People?
Think about that while reading this story.
Yesterday I wrote: Reading Can Indeed Change Your Life Forever. The idea came to me when a reader of my other stories said she was inspired by what I wrote.
I then realized how much I was also inspired by many other writers and had become what they write about, simply by continually reading their stories.
Last night, as always, I was listening to a podcast on the way home from work. The guest speaker was talking about morning routines, diet, workout, being curious, learning new things, etc.
And everything he said, I was nodding to semi-frantically, probably looking like a deranged person. Or maybe people just thought I was listening to really awesome music!
It’s then I realized that not only did I become what I was reading, but also what I listen to as well.
Podcasts
About three years ago, I followed a program by Tai Lopez called the 67 Steps. His discoveries in the 67 Steps were good. They put me in the right mindset for wanting to change.
Every day, I would listen to one of the Steps while walking to and from work. I did that for about 3 months.
More recently, I’m listening to The Tim Ferriss Show (Tim Ferriss). For those who don’t know the show, Tim is interviewing incredible people in a variety of fields, ranging from a sex worker to top politicians, and everything in between.
The magic of that show is that each person is so different that you see other perspectives on the same subject.
That is very much on purpose.
Tim asks the same questions to each person, then adds other more personal questions. He makes them all expose their vulnerabilities and it’s very enriching.
The great thing about podcasts is that you can listen to them whenever you’re doing mundane tasks, like walking to and from work, brushing your teeth, washing the dishes, etc.
I also find that hearing the person’s voice helps it give it more personality and depth as opposed to reading.
Music
Turn up the volume, close your eyes and let the music take over your soul. — http://kushandwizdom.tumblr.com/
I have particular tastes in music. I listen mostly to a variety of metal genres, but the music that inspires me the most is Epic music.
People find that funny. But it works. It puts me in the mood to accomplish things that are out of my comfort zone. I feel more powerful, both physically and mentally.
Anyone else listens to Epic music?
If you watch TV shows like Masterchef, you know the kind of music I’m talking about. You see epic music in trailers and movies all the time. Sometimes in video games as well.
Currently, I’m listening to Thomas Bergersen and Hans Zimmer. Bergersen is one of the two composers from Two Steps From Hell. Zimmer is best known for almost all the best compositions in Hollywood. These two composers are so inspiring to me. Feel free to try out my Thomas Bergersen playlist on Spotify here.
For me, combining violin and french horn just gets me emotionally. By having no lyrics as well, it helps me get into flow state. I can code for hours. I can lift weights longer. I can do more push-ups, etc.
When I listen to epic music, I feel epic.
I know my wife sometimes fuels on songs with powerful, uplifting lyrics. It works for a lot of people. If anyone has good examples of songs with powerful lyrics, feel free to share in the comments.
People Around You
“When people talk, listen completely, most people never listen.” — Ernest Hemingway
Who do you listen to the most?
Who do you go to for advice?
Why do you go to them for advice?
Think about that for a minute.
When I think about that, my wife comes to mind immediately. In my mind, she’s so much smarter than me. I go to her for advice on many things. She’s not afraid to tell me the truth. I trust her.
Who tells you the brutal truth? Trust these people. Listen to them.
She does things I want to do. On many points, I want to become her. Listening to her advice is a first step towards that.
When it comes to writing, I listen to the writers around me. People who do it professionally.
When it comes to working out, I listen to people with a similar body type, but have reached the goals I’m looking for. There’s quite a few of them at the gym.
Hear their journey.
No one gets to where you want to be without breaking a sweat. Think of them as mentors. Listen to their advice.
Conclusion
Pause for a minute. Take this opportunity to think about what and who you listen to.
Do you see they shape the person you are today or will become tomorrow, just like reading books or Medium stories?
If you don’t currently listen to uplifting podcasts and music, I strongly encourage you to do so. If you don’t listen to other’s advice, please start now.
All that puts you in the right mindset for improving yourself. Improving your life.
What podcasts do you listen to?
What music do you listen to?
Who do you listen to?
Have you become what you listen to?
Do you aspire to become what you listen to?
Keep listening to what inspires you and you will become inspiring yourself.
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
From Couch Potato To Reaching Your Highest Peak
Cover Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/6nGrWlxLaWo
Nothing Is Impossible with Momentum
I told myself I wouldn’t do anything today.
I didn’t put an alarm the night before. I “wanted” to sleep in. Take it easy. Relax.
I woke up slightly after my alarm would usually go off. I was in my bed, thinking about what I could do for the day.
Before I knew it, I was already out of bed.
And I thought to myself: “Hey man! Yeah you! I thought you said you would take it easy and sleep in?”.
I couldn’t.
Strange isn’t it?
Ever since I built this momentum I have, it’s very hard to stop.
Most people struggle to get out of bed to do things they set out to do. Yet here I am out of bed on a Sunday morning way before anyone else is up.
What’s hard for me now is to NOT do things that work towards my goals.
That momentum I built over the last few weeks really made me unstoppable.
There’s NO way I’m skipping the gym;
There’s NO way I’m skipping writing;
There’s NO way I’m skipping progress on my game;
There’s NO way I’m skipping mediation;
etc.
Want motivation? Want to achieve your crazy goals?
Build that momentum up!
Be consistent in working towards your goals.
Don’t skip. Do. Even when you don’t want to.
It doesn’t take that long to build momentum. Do consistently for two weeks straight. Checkmark your calendar every time you do. Track everything. Quantify everything. Qualify everything. Be obsessed.
Want to know the best way to do it?
Read 23 Key Principles For Building True Momentum And Becoming Unstoppable.
Conclusion
Every small gain builds your momentum.
When you quantify or qualify everything, you WILL find gains or progress. ALWAYS. Series of small wins become big wins. Big wins build momentum. Momentum makes you unstoppable!
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
8 Steps To Get Up And Grow From Failing
Cover Photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash
The other day I read the follow quote:
“The moment you accept total responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life is the day you claim the power the change ANYTHING in your life.” — Hal Elrod
So many times in life we “fail” at something and find every good reason to point the finger at someone else, trying to find a culprit for our failure.
We are terrible when it comes to self-reflection. It’s just so much easier to look at the surface and draw false conclusions.
But Hal Elrod is right in his quote. Once you accept responsibility for every bad thing that happens to you, everything changes.
A Recent “Failure”
I was recently rejected for a dream job I felt very qualified for.
Who’s fault is it?
Mine of course.
Now, I didn’t get a reason for my rejection. There may be a lot of things that are seemingly out of my control on the surface. But because it’s my fault, I peel down the layers:
I have become too confident in my programming skills, thinking I had reached the top. This could prove I was wrong.
I didn’t answer the pre-interview questions in a way that showcased how well-suited I was for the job.
Maybe there were a lot of typos in my answers.
I didn’t have the right network and connections.
Grow From “Failure”
I didn’t beat myself over it. Instead, when reflecting on the things I could have done wrong, I have a new sense of purpose.
Now, what I wrote above are simply assumptions, but nonetheless, there’s nothing to lose from working on those. It may not get me that job, but it may get me another one that’s equally good, or better.
There’s never anything to lose from working on yourself.
Being a better programmer, being more persuasive, becoming a better writer and making more connections are all incredible things for any potential employers.
And this applies to every “failure” in your life, whether professional or personal.
The next time you “fail” at something, search deeper into the “why”. Most of the time, you’ll be able to see that you are indeed the cause of failure.
Here’s how you grow from failure:
Embrace it.
List key reasons why.
Plan how you will improve.
Execute.
Measure.
Reflect.
Fail.
Repeat.
Conclusion
For a lot of us, it’s not easy to “blame” ourselves for things that happen to us. Yet once you change your mindset and take responsibility for the bad things that happen to you, you grow way beyond whatever you could imagine before.
“When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” — Buddha
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
Reading Can Indeed Change Your Life Forever
Cover Photo: Author reading “Good to Great” on a slow boat in Loas
I didn’t believe it then, I do now
A while back, a reader commented on this story I had written:
Stop Doing What You Can, Start Doing What You Want
Here’s part of her message:
“[…] I wasn’t courageous enough and there’s too much negativity and pessimism from my family and society. However, this year is different. After reading many inspiring stories like yours and getting so sick of this mediocre life, I’ve decided to make the most crazy change ever.” — Introvert Vicky
That spoke to me greatly.
If you’re reading this, I’m sure it’s speaking to you too.
How many times have we stopped doing what we really wanted to do because it was less conventional or frown upon by people around us?
We can change that!
And Vicky might not know it, but she’s on the right track here. Let me emphasize a part of her message that I think proves she’s on the right track:
After reading many inspiring stories […]
The day before, I had given a talk at the co-working space I work from. It was about Life and Work Productivity Hacks. At one point in the presentation, I explained that I didn’t always used to be productive and driven like I am now.
And then I got a follow-up question asking me “How” I became driven like that, and I wasn’t sure what to answer.
I didn’t consciously become driven.
I didn’t wake up one morning and thought to myself: “Okay, starting today, I’ll have all the motivation in the world to do anything I want”.
I didn’t plan for it. That would never have worked. No one’s that great.
After reading Vicky’s message this morning, things became clearer.
I’ve been reading a lot of awesome stories from other writers here on Medium. Basically every day for the past 12 months. This motivated me to consciously learn 3 new skills every month.
It turns out, I became everything I’ve been reading for the past 12 months.
So I want to apply what I’m preaching, and thanking the writers who inspired me to be what I am today:
A big thank you — in no particular order — to the following writers I’ve been following and reading frequently:
Nicolas Cole, Benjamin P. Hardy, Anthony Moore, Elle Kaplan, Zdravko Cvijetic, Tim Denning, Tom Kuegler, Jordan Gross, Tim Rettig, MR. Molly Maguire, Aleesha Lauray, Tiffany Sun, Michael Simmons, Kerry Morrison, Zat Rana, Thomas Oppong, Jesse Kerema, Darius Foroux, Christopher D. Connors, Roy Huff ♛, Catherine Turner, Jeff Goins, Tim Ferriss, Arianna Huffington, and more.
Also a big thank you to the following publications for which I’m writing for:
The Startup, The Ascent, Power Level, Struggling Forward, On The Rise, The Entrepreneur’s Handbook, AngkorHUB, Thrive Global, Thought Catalog, and others.
Let these people and publications inspire you.
Learn from them.
Before you know it, you will be the person they talk about in their stories.
You will have changed your life for what you really want to be.
Conclusion
Whether this is the first story you read here or you’ve been reading for a while, let these incredible writers inspire you.
Keep reading.
You’ll see repeating patterns but told from very different perspectives. You’ll share stories with them. You will build trust in them, but most importantly, trust in yourself.
Keep reading what inspires you and you will become inspiring yourself.
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)
I Forgot To Pee This Morning
Cover Photo by Seth Doyle on Unsplash
4 Essences Of True Productivity
It’s 5:00 am — my alarm went off.
I jumped out of bed and started writing.
I wrote an 800-word story in 30 minutes and it’s great.
For the next 30 minutes, I went on to continue my practice/learning on how to create a successful Kickstarter project for video games in 2018.
The next 30 minutes were about continuing my practice/learning on how to make a successful free-to-game on Steam in 2018.
Then I continued my Learning on Learning to Learn (what a mouthful!).
Then I completed my 20-minute workout routine and showered.
And that’s when it hit me: I had not yet peed.
I had been awake for at least 2 and 1/2 hours by that point and had not yet peed.
This may sound insignificant to you, but I assure you it’s not.
And it’s not that I didn’t need to go, it’s just that my needs to accomplish my daily routine were actually more important.
Let me add some emphasis here:
Doing my daily routine was more important to me than peeing
Somehow, I’ve transcended one of my most basic needs for something that, in theory, really should come second or third.
In my mind, there’s no denying this:
“There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all” — Peter Drucker
But once you’ve taken care of that, what’s left?
People resort cheap tricks to hack their productivity. While this works in the short-term, does it really for long-term?
Habits, strong desires and beliefs, getting into flow and creating true momentum. These are truly effective ways to be productive.
The daily morning ritual I mentioned above?
It has become a habit.
I strongly believe in the benefits of doing my creative thinking in the morning. I strongly believe in learning and working out before “starting my day”.
It’s such a strong habit and I believe in it so much that I forget about one of my most basic needs.
Once it’s a habit, there’s no more procrastination.
Doesn’t productivity start by actually doing something that should be done?
As you could guess from the above story, I was clearly into a state of flow.
Who writes 800 words of quality-content in 30 minutes?
Only someone in flow.
And for the learning of the other things I mentioned, I went through a list of 5 different Kickstarter projects, analyzed them, and wrote 5 pages of notes.
For the free-to-play learning, I analyzed 11 successful games and took 6 pages of notes.
The Learning to Learn class? I did 45 minutes worth of lectures in 30 minutes and wrote 2–3 pages of notes. I scored 100% on the quiz without cheating (message me to know how I did that).
My workout is 100 pushups, 100 Bulgarian split squats, and 100 dips. I do that in 20 minutes.
Remember my list from above?
Habits, strong desires and beliefs, getting into flow and creating true momentum.
What I’m describing here is beyond flow. It’s what I call True Momentum. I compare it to the effects of NZT in Limitless, the movie. Only, drug-free.
With True Momentum, you’re able to accomplish at least 10x more. But not just more, but better too.
In the past 6 months, I’ve written 250 pieces on Medium, became top writer in 9 categories, wrote for bigger publications, had top answers on Quora, I released 2 books (working on 2 more), started three new startups, launched an online store, released a video game, signed 2 photography contracts, started mentoring and coaching, made important connections, and I’m in the best physical shape I’ve ever been in entire my life.
Let me re-iterate that this is all in the past 6 months.
You want to build True Momentum to be at your most productive — and I can help you with that — but it’s not a short answer.
Here’s how you do it:
23 Key Principles For Building True Momentum And Becoming Unstoppable
Conclusion
There are at least 4 essences of true productivity:
Habits;
Strong desires and beliefs;
Getting into flow; and
Creating True Momentum.
All 4 go beyond hacks and cheap short-term tricks. The first 3 have been the subject of numerous incredible books like The Power of Habits, Think and Grow Rich, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, and more.
The last one, True Momentum, makes you unstoppable. It makes you achieve almost anything you can imagine. It happens when you can get into flow very easily, many times a day, for weeks at a time.
Take the time to read the story I linked above. Learn the lessons. Apply them consistently. Believe in your desires and goals. Form powerful habits. Get into flow. Build momentum.
That, to me, is true productivity.
You can do this!
Thanks for reading! :)